Surfacing

I’ve been plumbing the depths of my past lately, investigating and scouring and searching for bits of myself that, at one time or another, I lost. I realize now, I must retrieve those pieces in order to put myself together with some semblance of wholeness.

It’s a startling experience to realize that I’d made a number of unconscious agreements to remain stuck, small, and less-than, in order to not upset or surpass someone I love. I did this, in particular, around my relationship with money. And since money is the energy we value most in our society, having a bad relationship with it, has been a negative sum game in my experience.

I talked about my life in terms of ‘being broke’ and ‘unable to afford’ ___________ (fill in the blank). I didn’t see money as a means of barter or energetic exchange. I imbued it with all sorts of negative…