I do not lack self-awareness. I accept and appreciate myself. I am not perfect and I make mistakes. I have weaknesses and I sometimes make poor choices. I make no apologies and I have no regrets; I am a work in progress, please wear your hardhat.

An interesting thing about self-awareness; because I can accept and appreciate myself, I can accept and appreciate others. People are not a la carte – you cannot pick and choose who they are. To love someone, you must accept and appreciate them fully, warts and all; love is not meant to be “in spite of” but rather “because of” all the traits that make the whole greater than the sum of its parts. Think of every conversation you have ever had regarding a significant other; do you recall phrases such as

“I really do love him but I wish…..”

“He’s a really great guy, if only…..”

“I hate when he ___________ but I can change that.”

“I love him despite…….”

If you lack self-awareness, it is quite likely you do not have a complete picture of yourself – how can you accept or appreciate what you cannot see? – and if you cannot see yourself fully, how could you possibly see someone else? If you do not know yourself, how can you know someone else? How can you love someone else?

BIG REVEAL: You cannot love someone else if you do not know and love yourself.

Love starts from within; you can share it but you cannot manufacture it. Keep these things in mind:

• Personal inventory: Are you aware of yourself? Who you are? What makes you tick? Do you accept and appreciate all of your traits, or are you constantly trying to change yourself? ((REMINDER: The difference between self-improvement and trying to remake yourself in another image? Motivation – make sure it is positive.))
• Beware of chemistry: Sexual attraction obscures many things. Pay close attention to how you feel when your clothes are on – do you like each other? What do you talk about? Do you share ideas? Do you share beliefs? Are you comfortable discussing feelings?
• As is: Can you live with it as it is right now? If this is it, all it will ever be, can you live happily in the relationship? ((REMINDER: Anything other than an unqualified “YES” is actually “NO.”))