“It’s a wonderful expression. I just don’t know how true it is. You don’t see it turning up in a lot of opera plots. “Ludwig, maddened by the poisoning of his entire family, wreaks vengeance on Gunther in the third act by living well….Whereupon Woton, upon discovering his deception, wreaks vengeance on Gunther in the third act again by living even better than the Duke.”  Niles Crane, Frasier

I will start by stating emphatically, “I understand the inclination toward revenge.”

Let us be honest: we have all been hurt at some time or another and our initial instinct was to strike back, to get back some of our own..to get even. The impulse to revenge is so common, there is no shortage of phrases (advice, platitudes, suggestions) on the subject. I have never known a woman whose bad-break-up-revenge-fantasy did not include his eating his heart out when next they met. In our hearts, we want those offenders to suffer as much as possible. But there is a problem, simple and true, ever-present in any revenge strategy; there is no such thing as even. Revenge is destructive, starting with the self, because Revenge has a seriously bad-ass sister named Karma, and she does not like to share.

Karma has the heart of an accountant (in a jar on her desk – he worked for Enron), the soul of an IRS Auditor (just kidding! even if they had souls, the IRS wishes it had agents so thorough and accurate), and a ridiculous sense of humor. You cannot escape her eye, and you will not escape the balancing of the scales. She will always have the last word, the last laugh, and anything else belonging to her. She is as old as time and just as patient – if she does not catch up to you in this life, she will be waiting for you in the next – she has all the time there is. And she makes your revenge a fool’s errand. But wait! You say you don”t believe in Karma? Well, that is unfortunate because she believes in you, and she is not fooled by what you say – the only truth is action, and she is watching yours.

Living well is in fact the best revenge for several reasons:

• Living well is awesome and a reward in and of itself – no one ever complains about living too well.
• Your success and happiness will annoy your detractors a great deal without any actual effort on your part.
• Living well (and in this I include success, comfort, happiness, and mindfulness) does no harm. Karma loves it when we do no harm.
• Living well affords opportunities to give back. Karma really loves it when you do positive things for the world around you.
• Living well can be contagious; positive energy, happiness, mindfulness, and love can and will spread to those around you in hundreds of small ways everyday.

The next time someone steals your parking spot, steps on your idea, or breaks your heart, forgive them on the spot and be grateful for all that is positive in your life. And rest assured that while you may never see or know what happened next, Karma was watching you both.