07/23/15 All Light, No Bushel: The Hermit.

The Hermit, seeking great wisdom alone, not lonely.

The Hermit (Card IX) is consistently depicted as alone, male, and deep in wisdom. In readings, The Hermit indicates the importance of not just independence but also solitude, the solo pursuit of knowledge within as well as without the self. Too often, this card is read (or received) as a negative you’re-on-your-own-go-it-alone-no-on-is-there-for-you situation.

As with previous cards in this series, The Hermit is a power we have within ourselves to harness when needed – an arrow in the quiver, if you will – but more than that, it is a power we should actively seek to nurture and grow. It is the power of independence, the strength of thought, and the comfort of solitude. The Hermit is the power to walk your own path with a sure foot and purposeful stride. Unlike The Fool (Card 0), The Hermit is not walking a new or random path; The Hermit knows the destination and is more than capable of following the path, entirely alone if necessary, collecting knowledge and strength with every step.

We must each walk our own path, often we must do it alone, and it is a GOOD THING. The Hermit is not selfish – ask for assistance, information or advice and you shall have it – but also not weighed down by the needs, concerns, objections of others. The Hermit knows exactly where the buck stops; his own choices, his own decisions, his own responsibilities.

THE HERMIT IS FREEDOM!!

If you are a bit smart and a bit brave, The Hermit will use the guiding light to illuminate your true pathway, walking with you every step of the way.

((All images courtesy of Google Images.))

07/22/15 Bent But Not Broken: Three of Swords.

07/21/15 Let’s Get This Party Started: The Fool (0).

It may not be free but it is definitely worth the trouble.

The following is an actual exchange:

“You really are smart. You always have an answer or an idea. You’re smart.”

“Tragic, isn’t it.”

“Ha! You know, I bet that’s true. You’d probably be better off if you weren’t so smart.”

“Don’t think I don’t know that.”

My takeaways: 1) the surprise is not flattering, and 2) I gotta be me.

OR

The difference between a good girl and a bad girl?

Good girls ask for permission. Bad girls ask for forgiveness.

Speaking for myself, I never ask for permission and I am unapologetic. 

People are often apologizing or stepping back; they are reluctant to share themselves, and when they do, they are quick to apologize for it – their anxieties doing the talking, maybe a tinge of sadness in their eyes. Why? They have been successfully taught lessons no one should ever learn, specifically:

“You are not good enough.”

“You are not worthy.”

“You are not one of us.”

There are too many opportunities to be rejected, each with its own sense of loss to our egos and ourselves.

• When we are children, we seek the approval of our parents.
• In adolescence, we seek the acceptance of our peers.
• As adults, we seek to be desirable candidates (for apartments, jobs, sex, whatever).

And each loss pushes us closer to being inauthentic, to playing roles of ourselves rather than being ourselves.

FACT: ONLY YOU CAN BE YOURSELF

FACT: YOU DO NOT NEED ANYONE ELSE’S PERMISSION 

While it is true many people are quick to abdicate personal responsibility, playing martyr or victim; but they do so at the cost of freedom; not choosing is also a choice – a choice to allow others direct impact upon your life. This is not freedom; this is cowardice.

Your takeaways:

Be yourself.

Make your own choices.

Take responsibility for your life.

Be free.

AND DON’T LOOK BACK!!! 

Strength (Card VIII), where beauty tames the savage beast.

Strength. STRENGTH. We talk about strength quite a bit; strong bodies, strong wills, strength of an argument, tensile strength, brute strength. Strength, strength, strength. We are preoccupied by strength and the perception we are strong; any indication of weakness, real or perceived, is harshly handled. Why? Because we misunderstand strength completely.

Look closely at the cards above, and take a moment to remember…from Richard The Lionhearted to Gryffindor House, the lion is a symbol of courage (not strength!), an important distinction. You say, “But wait! If the lion is not the strength, the woman must be.”  Again, no. The woman keeps company with the lion but she does not control or dominate; she soothes, she tempers, she guides. “But if the lion is not strength, and the woman is not strength???????” Fair question.

GET READY FOR THE BIG REVEAL!!!!!!!!

Together, they are the power of kindness, and that is strength. 

BAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The ability to be kind is within each of us. Kindness is simple, invaluable, and it costs nothing. but there is a catch – it requires courage. The courage to follow your heart rather than popular thought, and be your best self. As with so many self-improvement projects, the steps are fairly simple:

Step 1: Kindness to self. Treat yourself as you would like to be treated by others, and cut yourself some slack.

Step 2: Kindness to others. Start small, perhaps with plants or animals, and extend your kindness; even the smallest gesture is appreciated.

Step 3: SMILE! A smile is not just a shield or an umbrella, it is also a handshake, and for some it is a lifeline. It is the smallest act of kindness you can bestow on others and it is always wonderful – allow it to build your courage.

Step 4: Lead by example. Accept kindness with grace. I know this is difficult for many of us, and it can take a great deal of courage, but it is well worth the risk.

Let kindness be your great strength, and you will never regret it.

((If you have suggestions regarding acts of kindness, small or large, random or patterned, please feel free to share them in Comments. Thank you!!))

Day 1.

Chapter 2.

The Chariot is about movement…..and that is the easy part.

As a card reader, I have often seen The Chariot interpreted as travel; an acceptable view of the archetype to be sure but I have always felt we missed a little something. 

The Chariot (Card VII) is certainly about movement – travel to foreign lands, commuting for a new job, moving to a different city.  – but it is important to remember it is decided and determined movement. To this point, see the third card above is Mastery rather than Chariot; you are the driver not the passenger. So much of the time, we think of life as “happening” to us rather than responding to us but The Chariot allows no such illusion.

Living The Chariot is largely about responsibility; understand you are responsible for the decisions you make, the actions you take, the roads you travel, your methods of conveyance and your chosen destinations. This is a card of action outside of yourself after all of the planning and decisions are made within yourself.

Terrifying, isn’t it?????

Be calm and carry on – you can do it. You can be the architect of your destiny; you have the power within yourself (Hello, Magician!) just get started (The Fool is waiting!). The archetypes occur in a specific order because they are building blocks and we benefit from them by calling upon them in turn – if you have welcomed The Fool and embraced The Magician, you have no need to fear The Chariot.

The train is leaving the station.

Destination: YOU

ALL ABOARD!!!!!!!!!!!

I do not lack self-awareness. I accept and appreciate myself. I am not perfect and I make mistakes. I have weaknesses and I sometimes make poor choices. I make no apologies and I have no regrets; I am a work in progress, please wear your hardhat.

An interesting thing about self-awareness; because I can accept and appreciate myself, I can accept and appreciate others. People are not a la carte – you cannot pick and choose who they are. To love someone, you must accept and appreciate them fully, warts and all; love is not meant to be “in spite of” but rather “because of” all the traits that make the whole greater than the sum of its parts. Think of every conversation you have ever had regarding a significant other; do you recall phrases such as

“I really do love him but I wish…..”

“He’s a really great guy, if only…..”

“I hate when he ___________ but I can change that.”

“I love him despite…….”

If you lack self-awareness, it is quite likely you do not have a complete picture of yourself – how can you accept or appreciate what you cannot see? – and if you cannot see yourself fully, how could you possibly see someone else? If you do not know yourself, how can you know someone else? How can you love someone else?

BIG REVEAL: You cannot love someone else if you do not know and love yourself.

Love starts from within; you can share it but you cannot manufacture it. Keep these things in mind:

• Personal inventory: Are you aware of yourself? Who you are? What makes you tick? Do you accept and appreciate all of your traits, or are you constantly trying to change yourself? ((REMINDER: The difference between self-improvement and trying to remake yourself in another image? Motivation – make sure it is positive.))
• Beware of chemistry: Sexual attraction obscures many things. Pay close attention to how you feel when your clothes are on – do you like each other? What do you talk about? Do you share ideas? Do you share beliefs? Are you comfortable discussing feelings?
• As is: Can you live with it as it is right now? If this is it, all it will ever be, can you live happily in the relationship? ((REMINDER: Anything other than an unqualified “YES” is actually “NO.”))