I couldn’t have said it better myself!
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Look before you leap.

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.

Be nice to the people you meet on the way up as they are the same people you will meet on the way down.

Such phrases become adages because they ring true over time. Each one provides the caution to think before acting, to proceed carefully, perhaps to move slowly – simply put, slow down and be careful. Okay, messages received.

However, let us look at the other messages within those same adages:

• Leap! Just take a look first – you may want to adjust your plan. (No suggestion not to leap.)
• You are raising chickens!! (No suggestion there will not be chickens, only the number is in question.)
• Go, baby, go! (No suggestion you should not continue, success is presumed, but do not hurt people to get there.)

Courage, confidence and enthusiasm are a recipe for success. Fortune certainly favors the bold – just do it and be amazed! But Fortune does not favor the foolhardy, and Karma will certainly remember every step of the trail. Every skydiver has a checklist.

Before you take off, take a deep breath, exhale slowly, and ask your self, “Where is the loss?” And if you cannot think of anything tangible that will certainly be lost by your next move (i.e. do not sacrifice the queen capriciously), GO FOR IT!

“I hope when you count the stars you begin with yourself, and may you embrace the moonlight with your dreams.”
– Dodinsky

((ALL IMAGES FOUND ON GOOGLE IMAGES, SEARCH THE FOOL TAROT CARD))

Tarot cards are fascinating; each card portraying archetypal images open to so many styles, artistic impressions, interpretations – simply fascinating to the curious mind.

Generally speaking, people are insulted when called a fool, associating the word with stupidity. Frankly, I am insulted by both parties (insult-er and insulted) – the idea of The Fool as stupid as ludicrous. The Fool, also known as The Royal Court Jester or The King’s Own Fool, was NOT stupid; he was charged with bringing to court not only physical entertainment and bawdy mirth but also savvy political satire. Additionally, he had to be politically savvy himself to walk the very fine line between entertainment and an insult too far. This was not a character to treat lightly, dismissively or disrespectfully as he often had the king’s ear in private. There was no shame in being The Fool.

For the readers’ convenience, I have posted several tarot images; each card varies in presentation while maintaining important elements; The first image depicts a crossroads – which way to go? The second image portrays a multitasking balancing act. The third image provides a faithful dog trying to help avoid the first misstep (it’s a doozy!).

The common element to all three images, the important message of The Fool in my opinion, is that of moving forward. This is the original Nike ad – Just Do It. Get started. Take a step. Go forward. Move ahead. It’s not too late. Just do it. The Fool moves without fear, without care, without hesitation – he chooses a path and moves forward. The Fool is the first card of the Major Arcana, and yet he is numbered zero (0) rather than (1). Other card readers would tell you all the very important historical, numerological,archetypal significance of the number, but I think it is very simple – nothing starts without a first step, and until the first step is taken, there is nothing.

I challenge us all to be The Fool, to take those first steps we are each avoiding in our own way – to fearlessly move forward and do something, even if it is wrong, to get started on a new path.

I apologize for my long absence but I have been struggling with an issue that challenges my ability to speak positively. My efforts to write this post consistently devolve into rants unworthy of this space. My patience and optimism are sorely tested by current political events, and a recent question posed by media as 2016 Candidates emerge: “Will misogyny be the new  racism?”

I am insulted by the very question. When has misogyny ever been absent from our national landscape? When have misogyny and sexism ever been absent from the Judaio-Christian or Islamic worlds? Am I to believe females were treated equally among the cave people? Racism claims its own throne but Misogyny was already well-seated; feminism must be every color because misogyny discriminates vaginally rather than racially.

And I have seen the enemy, sadly, she is us. Every woman allowing herself to be reduced by her relationship with men exacts a price from us all. Every woman relying on a man for her survival as a matter of course reduces the value of us all. Every woman spending her energy competing with other women for the attentions of a man cheapens us all. Every woman quietly accepting less when she knows she deserves more is a co-conspirator.

How do we dare stand in the shadows of such as  Susan B. Anthony, Eleanor Roosevelt, Gloria Steinem, and Sally Ride, and still call ourselves “women?” I understand feminism is about the ability and willingness to make choices but choosing to live on our knees is something I will never understand.

Please. Please. Please – STAND UP!

I am a book slut – I love books and I will buy them anywhere, anytime. When I was in college, no Friday Night was complete without a spin through a bookstore; during the last century, there was no shortage of booksellers on Lincoln Avenue and DePaul students could be found rummaging around for hours. Time passes, areas change, and we are meant to believe change is good……but you will never convince me Lincoln Avenue is a better place for more sports bars and fewer booksellers – save your breath, it will never happen. No way, no how.

Now for the embarrassing part of the story: despite its uninterrupted reign as one of Chicago’s oldest and largest used bookstores, my FIRST EVER VISIT to the hallowed stacks was last weekend. (I am in the penalty box, I feel shame.)

DIG THESE STATS:

THREE (3!!) Levels of Awesome – and amazingly well-organized.

OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK – 9am to 11pm!!!!

LOOK AT THE GORGEOUS PICTURES!!!!!!!

I know what you are thinking, “Couldn’t I get all that at Half Priced Books?” NO! Absolutely not!! If you have ever enjoyed a Woody Allen movie, this is the bookstore for you because it unapologetically reminds us Manhattan does not hold the patent on all things awesome.

Check it out for yourself: www.myopicbookstore.com.

((DISCLAIMER: I love Half Priced Books and do not wish to denigrate it in any way.))

Recently I have noticed a resurgence of my youth – television reboots, fashion repeats, throwback thursday – and it occurs to me, we love nostalgia more than is good for us.

Television shows are the worst – we do not need more Scully & Moulder, and one Full House was enough! Personally, I love watching Barney Miller – a comedy cop show from the 70s – because the characters are old friends and it reminds me of my dad (a cop from the 70s). The material holds up, the characters are very well-written, and my father always said it was truer than any other cop show on television….but I do not learn or experience anything new. I love it but it is a still life – no movement.

To be clear, I have nothing against healthy doses of nostalgia, rememberance, and reminiscence. An occasional stroll down Memory Lane is good for us, providing touchstones to the past and a meaurement for our personal progress. Unfortunately, too much time spent in the past limits movement to the future; standing still is bad enough but moving backwards? Ugh!

((RELATED BUT SEPERATE SIDENOTE: Without setting off on rants unknown, I would like to point out a new horror. Actual quote from 50+ dating service commercial, “It’s like being in high school again!” and she wanted us to believe it is a good thing. As if! No self-aware woman of my acquaitence would relive a minute of high school under any circumstance. Just saying!))

What are we seeking in all the rehash?  Why do we cling to the past? The answer is simple: comfort. The same reason a head cold sends me to a thread-bare terry robe, Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup and Columbo episodes; we count on comfort in our uncomfortable world – and we should stop.

We do not grow in comfort, we grow in challenge. We cannot retreat, we must move forward. We must read new books, watch new movies, talk to new people. We must walk new paths, learn new dance steps, sing new songs.

We must spread our wings and fly!!

Let’s talk about invisible doors. We are conditioned to negative thoughts – can’t, don’t, won’t, shouldn’t – and each time we allow the negative a foothold, it creates a locked door. The doors are barriers to positive thought, installed by others when we are young but eventually, we install them ourselves – we teach ourselves we cannot do things. Phrases such as:

“I’m just not good at math.” Oh, really? According to whom? A third grade teacher who may not have known how to teach you effectively? TIME TO DISREGARD!!

“You don’t want me on your team – I’m not athletic.” Or, have you been told you are not athletic so very many times, you stopped considering the possibility you might enjoy certain sports? REJECTED! GIVE IT A TRY!!

“I guess I’m just not _____________ enough.” STOP RIGHT THERE!! You are absolutely enough – we are not meant to have all the same gifts,we are meant to have all the right gifts – you are perfect in this perfect moment. If you want something different in the next moment, pursue it and you will be perfect in that moment as well.

Ready for the big reveal?

THERE ARE NO DOORS!!!!

If asked, “What is stopping you?” the most honest answer will most often be, “I am.” In fairness, maybe you genuinely are not interested in math, or sports, or dancing, or whatever – no problem, that is your choice and you are welcome to it. But if you are interested in something, anything at all, and you stop yourself with self-made rules, obstacles and excuses, you own those invisible doors….and they are very expensive. Any time you limit your own potential for happiness, you have paid too high a price for unhappiness.

Be brave – walk through the door.

Are you rooted, or do you feel disconnected? Either way, here’s a healthy reminder about nourishing your roots.

I am about to embark on a rant, so be sure to sit down and strap in.

I anticipate all readers are familiar with the plus size retailer Lane Bryant (LB). Currently, LB marketing campaign, #ImNoAngel, celebrates women of all shapes and sizes (if you are not familiar with the store or campaign, please check it out). But….it also appears to be taking a potshot directly at Victoria Secret (VS) and its ongoing Angel strategy featuring leggy, thin, supermodel types as the standard of marketable beauty. (PAUSE FOR IRONIC REALITY CHECK: Before it was spun off on its own, LB was owned by the same parent company as VS – so really, its just sisters bickering.)

<<WARNING!! WARNING!! RANT ABOUT TO ENGAGE!!>>

WHO CARES?!?! WHY DO WE NEED TO CARE?!?!

WHY IS THERE A DIVIDING LINE OF BEAUTY?!?!

AND WHY, OH WHY, ARE WOMEN SURRENDERING THEIR POWER TO IT?!?!

All women – ALL WOMEN – are beautiful; every woman contains a spark of the Divine and the power of Creation, no matter the packaging. Energy used to reclaim “beauty” or redefine “sexy” is energy wasted – it goes without saying women are beautiful and sexy, so why do we spend so much time, and money, saying it? Who are we trying to convince? More importantly, why are we trying to convince? (I would love to blame it on marketing and advertising but we all know those are monsters of our own creation and feeding, not the other way around.)

I have seen the enemy, and she is us! 

At the end of the day, women are convincing themselves they are beautiful and sexy. Sadly, we surrendered ourselves to outside forces and allowed ourselves to be told when and how to be beautiful. Men (and make no mistake, other women!) dictated terms and conditions of beauty and sensuality, and we accepted those dictates as if they were our own. We allowed our sexuality to be limited, confined, repressed, and now we want to celebrate its reclamation? We applaud ourselves for embracing the beauty we should never have relinquished or ignored.

What’s next? Awarding an arsonist a medal for dowsing a  fire he started.

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Unlike Dorothy Parker, I have been my own woman since age ten but I was not immune to the pressure of conformity. I received dating advice from my mother (“You gotta dangle a flashy lure! Be yourself after he’s caught.”) and my sister (“Why can’t you just smile and nod?!”), but could not heed their advice. They did not have the tools to guide me effectively, could not relate to my independence, did not understand my rejection of what they considered “norms,” and I was repeatedly warned of endless loneliness if I did not “get it together” by which they meant “buy in – everyone is doing it.” ((IRONIC REALITY: I am married 17 years – when asked, my husband admits I drive him crazy and I am the very best thing that ever happened to him. So much for the strategy of lures and nodding.))

HERE’S MY POINT: Every woman is beautiful on the inside. If she allows herself to be her best self, without limitations or images thrust upon her from the outside, she will know power. If she walks her own path with honesty and strength, she will know success. If she lives her life with hope, belief and positivity, she will make magic — and no ad campaign will sway her from her true self.